Ode to the selfish years!

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Do you ever stop to think and reflect and then realise just how much things have changed?

It seems as though in the middle of all the dreaming and planning, life happens. Everyone around you is different, old friends have become distant memories and you are now surrounded by new people who you are making memories with. As for those who are still around, somethings different. You can’t put your finger on it but they’ve changed. You’ve changed. Or as you like to think, you’ve grown. As you begin to adapt to the new changes and try to avoid feeling like an overwhelmed Sheldon Cooper, every so often your mind wanders off to the past and you begin to reminisce whilst battling the feeling of nostalgia that is creeping up on you. Every so often, but more and more often you can’t help but question where all the time has gone.

Longing for the days where it was easier and it all made sense. I’ll put my hands up, I’m a modern day Peter Pan. There is something about growing up that scares me. I’m not sure if it’s the responsibility that comes with it or the expectations that we associate with certain ages, all I know is that if I could, I would cling to my youth and never let go.

Right now, I’m happy. These are my selfish years, where I can focus on me and do what I want to. I met an incredible woman this summer in South Africa who really changed my perspective on things. She was an amazing mother of three in her early thirties who loved her family so much but just couldn’t help missing the days when she was young and had more to think about than what to cook for her family. If anything, she made me feel less guilty for clinging on to these selfish years of mine.

I’m not saying that marriage and motherhood aren’t amazing things but they aren’t my main goal. I don’t call these my selfish years because I’m self obsessed. I just acknowledge that right now is the perfect time and opportunity for me to focus on doing things that I love without having to be responsible for anyone other than myself. I don’t want to have to ever resent anyone because I feel that they have taken away my freedom.

As I go in to my final year I’m not too sure how much graduation will change me. The end of an era…! It might be a rude awakening, as of yet all I’m sure of is that I’m guaranteed to be awakened to something. As much as I love the memories that I have, I think that I’m ready to make new ones. I’m ready to move forward.

So to the girl or boy reading this, cling on to now, don’t worry about tomorrow because before you know it, you’ll blink and realise that in between all the stressing and worrying, life happens. I just pray that you’ll be living enough in the moment to experience it.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  – Matthew 6:34

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